Stress is simple enough to understand. It’s an internal response to how we are perceiving our external environment. But, as we all know, not everything that is simple to explain is easy to control. In this article we dive into why we feel stress and how you can better manage it.
A stressful event can trigger the “fight or flight” response, causing stress hormones such as cortisol to surge through the body, which in turn causes our mind to run at quite a rapid rate.
Once upon a time this response played a crucial part in our survival and evolution. We would be faced with a life-threatening situation, like a tiger about to devour our entire family. Our body would release hormones and our heart rate would increase, allowing blood to flow throughout the body so we were ready to make a quick decision to either take down the tiger or get everyone the hell out of there!
Once the threatening situation had passed, our hormone levels would return to normal and our heart rate would steady, leaving us in a calm state, able to continue about our day feeling safe.
Today this causes problems. We rarely, if ever, face life-threatening situations, yet we are still left with this deep psychological stress response. You may now find yourself responding to everyday situations in this state, whether it’s the latest task that’s been dropped on your desk, or even a simple argument with a loved one that’s playing on your mind.
The thing about the majority of our problems is that they’re not life or death, or even close for that matter. The issue is that our bodies are still programmed to respond to them as though they are, causing us continued discomfort when we can no longer use our adrenalin filled “fight” or “flight” responses.
When you can’t use Fight or Flight, What’s next?
Returning to now
“Most people treat the present moment as if it were an obstacle that they need to overcome. Since the present moment is life itself, it is an insane way to live.” – Eckhart Tolle
In a stressed state we will continually feel worried and anxious about something that may or may not happen in the future. This tends to leave us tired, lethargic and sometimes just plain moody. Many situations can cause this but it is crucial to learn how to actively separate yourself from this toxic state sooner rather than later. You will notice that most things that cause you stress are future dependant and don’t involve any present life-threatening situations. These future-centred what-if’s cause fear and stress in our present.
“What if I can never afford that?”
“What if I’m not good enough… (to get that new job / a promotion / to keep my partner’s love and interest) …?”
What if, what if, what if…
Essentially, we create stress when we place our emotions into future thoughts and outcomes. Fortunately, if we can create our own stress, it means that we are also capable of controlling and even eliminating it using the right tools.
Gaining control over your stress
Returning to the present moment can eliminate most, if not all, stressors you’re facing. I’m sure some of you are thinking, “Yeah Nath, being present sounds great, but it doesn’t get things done!” YES, I understand we can’t all be sitting under a tree, looking at the sky without a worry in the world all the time. We live in a world where performance is a key to living a life of joy with endless possibilities. I agree it can be difficult reducing the amount of stress in your life whilst still continuing to be driven at work or balancing all the aspects of a busy life, including relationships and family.
This is where I encourage “proactive action over reactive action.” “Proactive actions” are controlled, logical and confident actions that force presence! The opposite of how being stressed feels, correct? A perfect way to actively beat stress. “Reactive actions” are uncontrolled, illogical and lack certainty. Sounds stressful.
Whilst there are many techniques for gaining control of stress, these 3 really stood out to me. They are quick, easy and require little time. Remember to take action. Too often I see people gain new valuable knowledge and apply none of it.
3 actionable steps from “Psychology Today” to be more proactive now!
• When you go through setbacks and failures, ask: “What is the lesson here?”, “How can I learn from this experience?”, “What is most important now?” and “If I think outside the box, what are some better answers?” By asking constructive questions based on learning and priorities we can gain the proper perspective to help us tackle the situation at hand.
• If you feel fearful or discouraged try intense aerobic exercises. Energize yourself! The way we use our body greatly affects how we feel. As the saying goes – motion dictates emotion. As you experience the vitality of your body, your confidence will also grow.
• When you feel under stress take 5 deep breaths. 5 seconds in 5 seconds out. I’m sure you’ve heard this many times before, but it has lasted this long for a good reason. Take these breaths then re-evaluate your situation in your new relaxed state.